I’ve run out of adjectives to describe just how mediocre I’ve been this season, ran up another uninspiring 5-6-2 mark which would at least have been above .500 but Pierre Garcon found a way to screw up even after catching the ball, fumbling which Cincy returned for a TD and a 10 point win as 7 point favorites. Biggest embarrassment of the week was my taking the Vikings in Chicago not realizing they were planning to roll over like dogs. Between that and the Brewers getting blown out in Gam6 I was watching Chopped by 9 (should make picks for that show instead of about the NFL, I’m much better than that). Lines taken from The Greek this week since BoDog was down a couple.

Vikings (+9) over the Packers: Mentioned yesterday feeling bad juju. I’m worried that switching to Ponder will get their team energized so even if hes not markedly better than McNabb they could bust ass. Also let’s not forget that they’ve been decent in building leads and on that surface Jared Allen is a different player (who is going against Marshall Newhouse this week). My thinking is that Minnesota plays well, gets some of their weird Trashdome bounces and use Peterson to wind clock. Still won’t be enough to get them the win since the Packers are still better but this won’t be a cakewalk.

Washington (+2.5) at the Panthers: Just a hunch, Carolina can’t stop the run and despite what happened last week against Philly I think the Racists can still move people. Add to that a competent defense continuing to confuse Cam Newton and Shanny’s boys remain in the thick of the NFC Least race (get it? I said Least because that division sucks).

Falcons (+3.5) at the Lions: Love this line getting that extra half point, Detroit and their allegedly great defensive line gave up 200 rushing yards last week and now Michael Turner comes in on a roll. While Atlanta’s secondary is a bit of a mess Matt Stafford quietly hasn’t been great this season, using a dominant performance against the Chiefs to inflate his numbers. Expect a close one here.

Buccaneers (+1) over the Bears: Finally the people of Tampa get a home game that’s not a threat to be blacked out since this on it being played over the Pond in jolly old England (I expect the locals to taunt Mike “Mrs. Doubtfire” Martz with plenty “HEL-LOOOOO!” greetings). An interesting game for early NFC positioning since Tampa currently stands in first with their win over the Saints and the Bears are still hanging around despite not being all that good. One advantage Chicago has is the Cutler will be easily beloved by the Eurotrash in the stands.

Just look at this fucking guy

Browns (-3) over the Seahawks: I was curious who FOX puts on this game and saw it was Ron Pitts and the less entertaining Jim Mora. They were doing a Packer game earlier in the season, my how the mighty have fallen. This is what happens in bye weeks though, were this game to be played in December they’d just have Bradshaw and Howie Long announce it from the studio.

Chargers (-1) at the Jets: Rex Ryan wants you to know that if he was the San Diego coach coming off a bye they’d still beat the Jets, probably by more though.

Titans (-3.5) over the Texans: This game is for first place in an NFL division. I’ve never missed Peyton Manning more than I do right now (at least until we get to the Sunday night matchup). Houston is a MASH unit right now and Tennessee presumably used their bye week to start letting Chris Johnson be good again.

Broncos (+1.5) at the Dolphins: Miami managed a sell-out because of the Tebow news and the team honoring the 2008 national champion Gators (not the 2006 team mind you that’s having a 5 -year anniversary this year, but the one from three years ago). Good news for the profit/loss statement of the team, but not the rooting interests of a crowd that already doesn’t like this team. Expect mediocre numbers from Tebow but he’ll get credit for “just winning football games”, glad we now have a new Vince Young.

Chiefs (+5.5) at the Raiders: How can anyone in their right mind pick this game with any certainty after learning that Carson Palmer is coming in off the street to start? When in doubt, take the points (especially in a divisional game).

Steelers (-3.5) at the Cardinals: Oddly low line considering Arizona stinks, what he hell? Let’s just move on.

Cowboys (-13) over the Rams: There is no duller team in the league than the Rams, glad FOX is doing right by the country and putting the Packers on in more markets at 3:15.

Saints (-14) over the Colts / Ravens (-9) at the Jaguars: You should just watch baseball with these as a commercial flipback. If you don’t may this happen to you

Tony La Russa gets punished for watching a Curtis Painter-led drive Sunday night