So much badness in football this week. First the dream at perfection was ruined in Kansas City leading to Mercury Morris and idiots who think this means the Packers aren’t even the conference favorites anymore reappear (it’s as if the Saints didn’t lose to the Rams and the Cardinals did not in fact beat the 49ers a couple weeks ago) and now the team is dealing with injuries all over the place again. So just like how Scrooge could be miserable despite his wealth I’m finding ways to be down on the NFL despite being a fan of a 13-1 team.

Packers (-13) over the Bears: Figured there was no need for a Know Thine Enemy this week since who doesn’t know the plight of the Bears at this point? Johnny Knox is lucky to be alive today after being bent in half the wrong way so new starting QB Josh McCown has even less to work with. Now granted the Packer defense is still hot garbage but they have managed to shut some teams down at home so assuming McCarthy figures out how to best make use of a quick throw offense they should score enough to put the pressure on Mike Martz’s impotent crew.

Colts (+6) over the Texans: Two weeks in a row correct taking Indy as an underdog, knew it would start working out at some point. Hell they might win this one too what with Andre Johnson being out and Owen Daniels possibly joining him. All I know is that this game will be a colossal bore unless it’s close late.

Steelers (TBD) over the Rams: No line due to Roethlisberger’s questionable availability but come on, I’d still take Pittsburgh and give 17 with Charlie Batch starting against these bums. In the first installment of a three-part series in this post I’m continuing the casting of A Christmas Carol but looking for the Ghost of Christmas past who in most versions of the stories speaks with a child’s voice and looks like a girl. This one was like shooting fish in a barrel.

In a depressing trip to your past it's revealed that two years ago you were sporting dandruff at Grandma's house, hopefully you've learned and will now buy Head & Shoulders

Broncos (-3) at the Bills: Tempted to take Buffalo at home but this one has all the makings of another 19-14 that Tebow “wins”. Good for him I guess what with the game happening so close to His birthday and all.

Bengals (-4) over the Cardinals: Curiously low line, I know that Arizona is frisky and all John Skelton does is win football games but doing that in front of 40,000 people in Cincy (it’s gotten kinda depressing, but remember it’s baseball that has attendance issues) facing a team playing for its postseason lives? Not sure about that.

Titans (-7.5) over the Jaguars: When Scrooge was talking about “eliminating the surplus population” he wasn’t talking about the poor but rather these two franchises.

Chiefs (-1.5) over the Raiders: Stands to reason that if you can shut down Aaron Rodgers at Arrowhead the same can be done to Carson Palmer. Can the Chargers do us all a favor and win the West so there will be a fun team to watch in the playoffs?

Giants (+3) at the Jets: Because why the fuck not? Anyone claiming to have a good feeling about how this game is going to play out is undoubtedly just misdiagnosing holiday gas.

Eagles (+2) at the Cowboys: The winner of the NFC East can amazingly be 8-8 and even more shockingly can be the Philadelphia Eagles. Seems like another game where Dallas will hold a nice lead at some point before Mike Vick and LeShon McCoy go scorched Earth on them. Anyone familiar with common renditions of the Ghost of Christmas Present knows this could have only been one person.

Going to visit Tiny Tim on his deathbed still wouldn't be as upsetting for Rob Ryan as watching his defense play

Ravens (-13) over the Browns: If only Baltimore could play bad teams at home in the playoffs they’d be a lock to win the AFC but as is they kinda blow.

Chargers (+2.5) at the Lions: Sneaky fun game that might go ignored while people are watching Cowboys-Iggles but if Phil River can shred the Raven defense he should do great things against a Detroit defense that is only great in their own minds. Congrats on that gift victory last week Lions, I’m sure the Saints are trembling at the idea of having to rout you again in the playoffs.

Buccaneers (+7.5) at the Panthers: Sure the Bucs look like they’ve quit on their coach and Cam Newton just torched them in Tampa a couple weeks back but…uh, I have no idea why I’m doing this either other than I had taken too many favorites otherwise.

Washington (-6.5) over the Vikings: Instead of being doomed to wear chains for all eternity Jacob Marley would have been better punished by being forced to watch every snap of this game

49ers (-2.5) at the Seahawks: Really low line considering after they beat the Steelers the talk about San Fran was that they were finally to be taken seriously. If they have any aspirations of being something in January winning this game is imperative to remain ahead of New Orleans and force them to travel to the West Coast in the Divisional round.

Dolphins (+9.5) at the Patriots: Worry not Miami fans, Matt Barkley announcing today that he’ll be returning to USC for another season means you can stop feeling so bad about the team winning games and dropping in the draft order. Take joy in knowing that your defense is infinitely better than that of the defending Super Bowl champs and dare I say you have a true offensive talent for the first time in a while with Reggie Bush. Don’t think they’ll win this one outright but it should be a slugfest. But only the Ghost of Christmas Future knows for sure

After winning the game the Hooded Ghost further taunts Miami fans by taking them to next year's Draft where the team takes a guard in the 1st round

Falcons (+6.5) at the Saints: Another nice game to end the MNF season, I just hope that if the power goes out at the stadium this week Berman doesn’t make references to Hurricane Katrina like he did the San Francisco earthquake.

Happy holidays to one and all and Raji bless us, everyone!